A common theme in stories for children and adolescents is revenge. Whether comedy, drama or fantasy, the main character often trumps any humiliation or loss on the path to successful and carry out a plan to comply with the law for inflicting any pain or embarrassment. Sometimes there is no real damage was done to the main character, but a person who was attacked for being arrogant, or did not like, rich, or simply draw attention too. The message sometimes clear as day and sometimes more obliquely, is that retribution is the best way to regain honor, trust, or the state. Why are these stories so popular? Because children can relate to them. In fact, recent studies have shown that young people have taken these messages very seriously and intimidation, which has been increasing dramatically among young people is associated with the state to increase the power and self esteem.
Jealousy is often portrayed is caused by external factors, rationalization of feeling and behavior that is justified, and the reinforcement of attitudes and behaviors that are largely destructive. Parents have said (and I have reiterated this to their children) that young people are entitled to their emotions. But there is a profound difference between the recognition of feelings and accept all feelings as healthy and constructive.
The conclusion is that people feel inadequate, insecure, dependent, or too general are more zealous than others. We all feel jealous at some point in our lives and to some extent is a normal part of our emotional toolbox to help us express our fears and insecurities. But as we mature, we realize that jealousy is a symptom of these underlying feelings that are expected to be identified and treated. Unresolved, these feelings can be transformed into petty, selfish individuals who end up destroying relationships and pushing people who care about us out. The expression - "what the fear is that she believes" "- sounds particularly true in this situation.
Irrational jealousy is never healthy or chronic and can be triggered by events imagined or misinterpreted. Embracing jealousy as a legitimate reason to hurt others is to give our power over others. We become more reactive beings that people can manage their feelings and make conscious decisions about what is in our best interest, how we spend our energy and talents, and the values we want to live. We have the power to define ourselves rather than be defined by circumstances and emotional impulses. This is a very important message that young people need to hear and understand.
When we feel jealous, a primary school who are experiencing a threat and fear. We are concerned that the loss of that person or thing that lead to terrible consequences. Our first impulse is to avoid or prevent the perceived danger. For many people with chronic jealousy, there is an old wound that never healed. In the case of a child can be directed to parents who are worried, stressed, or unable to meet their basic needs for safety and protection. If parents somehow give the impression that children are a burden or that the child's need for privacy and / or acceptance is a weakness or negative trait, these children grow up feeling like they're in their own relationships, isolated desire intimate.
Despite the feelings of jealousy and anger should not be embarrassed or minimized, that must be addressed. You can not solve arguments or avoidance.
Feelings of abandonment, rejection or failure must be identified and sound. If severe, speaking to a professional is the best course of action. However, overcoming jealousy and anger begins with awareness. By changing what you believe, you can change what your imagination is projecting. It requires a change in the fundamental beliefs of insecurity and victimization that create negative self-talk.
Parents should encourage their children to:
1. about the management of its reactive behavior as a way to regain personal power
2. change your perspective or history in your mind that is creating a lot of negative self-talk. At first, though I do not think that should tell a different story just to calm down and be able to make a conscious decision about what they like to do when they feel more in control. Example: A child sees his best friend whispered to someone does not like and believe they are talking about it. Should be required to imagine that she is telling this girl how well the two of them were at the mall. Is not it? No matter! It is a tool to get him to calm down and not be crazy girl who goes into a crying fit.
3. get into the habit of identifying the core beliefs that trigger an emotional reaction to question, that is, why am I so upset? What do I have fear will happen? What are the best ways for me to handle this?
4. participate in activities that allow them to express (art, music, dance, writing, etc.) and contribute their talents to others. Not only will they find constructive ways to deal with their emotions, but to learn the positive impact they can do in the world.
Finally, it is important to remember that children learn from parents that one of the mechanisms of attention control and behavior of others is through bursts of emotion, especially anger. When children are punished, often accompanied by anger. Harsh words are used. Children come to associate the anger and emotion to control. That lesson can stay with them throughout their lives.
Ira ongoing resentment and jealousy can become a lifestyle, a permanent lens through which a young person sees the world। This can lead to many health problems like depression and drug dependence. Addressing these problems early and help children find ways to manage and cope with these feelings is key to their future health and happiness.
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